Flying Solo

These last few weeks flew by crazy fast for me, just like I figured they would. Today was the first day of swinging into our old routines.
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On the way to the airport, Marcus and I both talked about how him leaving was a little bit of a relief. Since the day after Christmas, I could feel a dark cloud hanging over head. No matter how much fun we had, or what kind of magical family time there was, it was always lurking in the back of my mind that it was soon going to be over.
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It built up and built up and by the last day it was a full force typhoon, with all the strong winds and rain manifesting itself into tears that would leak down my face. I am a cry-er by nature. Happy, sad, frustrated, surprised. You name the emotion and I can name a time I have cried with it. So needless to say my already sensitive crying gene busted into over time, and all that weeping and seeping really takes a toll on a lady.
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Anytime that I let the tears fall, it always ended with a reassuring warmth that we are doing what we need to be doing and that would calm my troubled heart. We never were on a real life schedule while he was here, so that feeling that you feel after a vacation, being ready to get back to a routine and normalcy, we both felt it. Which is weird that, for right now, being apart is our new normal. I have no doubts that when we are together again that we can fit back in place like we used to.
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So today I was ready. Ready to do my normal morning routine with the girls. Pancake breakfasts, working out, running errands, tucking their sweet little spirits into bed at night. I know I can do this, which gives me comfort. But I also know just how hard it can be, which makes me a little sad. So I just try not to think about the hard stuff and focus on good stuff. Like when Olivia tells me she sees an "opticopter" flying in the sky. Or her asking me to go to "chicken nuggets house" for lunch (AKA McDonald's).
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My heart aches to be with my Marcus, but I know that I just need to be patient and we will soon be together again. For now skyping with him and listening to him read "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" to the girls will help fill that void.