Words to live by

I had been struggling with some things as of late. I want to parent my children in such a way that they are kind, use their manners, obedient... not some crazy hooligan kids. Where is that line of being too hard on them, or being too soft? I don't want spoily pants kids but at the same time are there some things that I don't even need to battle over with them, yet I seem to keep on battling??
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I have been feeling an extra burden... I don't know... say since around July-ish. I AM the parent authority right now. No tag team, no trade outs, I am the sole person to call the shots. When we get reunited with Marcus again how they behave will be directly because of things I am or am not parenting them on. I am not exaggerating when I say that this is an enormous load to bear. It is my job to guide them through this territory of not only their development, but the trail they are also going through of missing their Daddy.
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Let me interject here by saying I am 100% certain that we are supposed to be walking this path right now. There are things that we all need to learn and grow from with this and I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that Heavenly Father wants us to walk this path. That being said, even with all the reassurance that comes from knowing that truth, it is still hard.
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Thus we get to my struggle, how to give my three year old all the things she needs with still taking a stand on certain things. It's an intricate dance we are doing, her and I. Increasingly I have been feeling like I am off the mark with some of my tactics. Can't quite pin point it, but know I am not approaching things the way I need to.
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I believe that people are brought in your life because you need them to be there. Either as a trial to endure, a helping hand, a confidant. Every person fills a need for you to grow and learn. My dear friend Kaitlyn always seems to offer me the wisest council.
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Out of the blue, she brought up something today (well... I'm not sure if it was out of the blue, per say. I had been up on my soap box about some parenting issues as of late... but it's not like we were talking about those things at the time, so technically I guess you could say it was out of the blue). The thing that stood out the most to me was this (and I am paraphrasing here, it's not like I whipped out my recorder to tape the discussion).
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I am not a Mom to make sure that my house is clean. I am a Mom to make sure that my kids receive unconditional love from me. No matter what. So if that means that I hang out with them on the couch all morning and read books or play games or watch TV with them, then that is what I am going to do. Sure it stresses me out if my house isn't clean, but I can always bust out the house cleaning one day during the week and not worry about it the rest. They are what is important. Who cares if you don't have a perfect bedtime routine. If they want some extra cuddle time before bed, I am going to give it to them.
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I needed to hear that. Desperately. Olivia is feeling a loss right now and who am I to deny her any extra loves she may be needing? It's not like I am ignoring her all day or anything like that. I think I have been drawing too hard of a line with her and I need to lighten up. I have been feeling an imbalance in our dynamic, so I am going to change things up a little. Just go with the flow. Listen more closely to what she is and isn't saying, be there for her the way she needs me to be there for her. Not the way that I think would be prudent for me to be there for her.
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So I am feeling recharged and ready to look at things differently. I am also working on letting go of some of the stress and just take things day by day. And for the record, I know this is all about Olivia, and I have two daughters, but Bianca is at an easier age (an age I have already navigated once before) so I feel fairly confident I am not messing her up too badly.
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I am ever grateful for the angels who are in my life right now and that are helping to ease my load.

Disguise

I have been trying to explain more complicated ideas/feelings to Olivia lately. One of them has been bugging people, what that means and how other people feel when she does it. I would try to point out when she was in the act of going over the top or being too rough... just bugging.
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I guess a lot more of my phrases are making sense to her. We are all in Konk's room and I just get done clipping Konk's nails (like fighting a wild banshee) and Konks wanders off to play while I clip Olivia's nails. As soon as Bianca sees that I am actively engaged in something with Olivia she comes right back and proceeds to sit right in my lap, crawl on my legs and grab at my hair.
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I felt like I was being calm and restrained about the monkey crawling all over me. Olivia is watching it all happen and in a very conversation tone says...
"Mom. Bianca is driving you crazy."
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Not a question, just a statement. Maybe I am not as good at hiding my emotions as I previously thought.
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So I decided to be real with her. My response...
"Yes. Bianca IS driving me crazy."
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The girls were up early and I am not doing a very good job of going to bed at a decent hour. Game plan?? Konks is down for a nap and I plan on taking a scorching hot shower and just taking a deep breath. Then after that some one on one time with Olivia might be just what the Doctor ordered.

Faster than a speeding bullet.

So the girls were laughing ridiculously and I promptly ran out to see what was so funny. Bianca had on my apron with Olivia's shirt on top like a scarf. She is so little that it flowed way behind her. When one of them laughs it makes the other laugh. Bianca started laughing and then Olivia busted up too, although I am not sure she understood what was so funny about the situation.
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Bianca would hobble/run and the apron would trail behind her at which point she would almost fall down in a fit of giggles. I guess she is now Super Konka, with her special powers being to make us all laugh along with her!

This is how she gives kisses. Big, slobbery, drooly kisses.

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My girls are so precious and offer so much comedic relief when I let life get too serious sometimes.

Breakfast of Champions

I have been on a quest as of late. I have all this flour for my food storage, but what use is it to me if I don't use it on a regular basis. The girls LOVE pancakes (aka panekoeken). Actually to say LOVE would be an understatement to say the least, we eat them every other day for breakfast. While I do not profess myself to be the "suzy homemaker, whipping up loads of bread whilst simultaneously sewing my kids Halloween costumes and scrapbooking my brains out" kind of Mom, there are some things that I like to make from scratch. Pancakes being one of them. I went through about a dozen pancake recipes, searching for one that would provide the same results as a mix you would get in the store. All of them were flat and or flavorless. Not the fluffy, soft and yummy ones I was looking for.
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I inquired to people, asking for good recipes. I quite frequently got the response of "Ya I know a good pancake mix... it's the kind you buy from {costco, grocery store, etc}. All I have to say to those people is....
Booya suckers! I have a kick butt pancake recipe! And it is from scratch! And it is so easy! It is the recipe my Mom used when making pancakes for us when we were but wee little ones.

Bianca is a tad cranky this morning... it has been REAL fun...
I guess we aren't really morning people around here...
My camera sucks, big time. My pictures always turn out blurry (hazards of small, wiggly children). I even have been implementing the photography helps I have learned from here. She is fabulous, and an amazing photographer. I know I probably couldn't get to her level, you can only learn so much which is where natural talent comes into play... but still frustrating for trying to document your children's childhood. Hence my desire for a new camera!

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Anyhoo, here is my yummy, fluffy pancake recipe. Using a 1/4 c. measure to spoon out the pancakes, it makes about 8 or so. I just keep the leftovers in a Ziploc bag on the counter and toast for the next morning.

Childhood Pancakes from my Momma

1 egg

1 c. flour

3/4 c. milk

2 tbsp oil

1 tbsp sugar

3 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

Sift the dry ingredients into the wet ones, mix until just combined and scoop with 1/4 c. into your pan. Makes 8.

*If using whole wheat flour then just add a little less flour.

*use any kind of sugar (brown, white, etc).

Things that are rocking my world today.

Today started out kinda rough. Konks is having a tough spell, not much sleep, cranksters galore this morning. Half tempted to skip XFIT this morning and just stay at home. But then I decided I wouldn't let this day control me, I was going to control this day. So control away I did! (Nothing like an obstacle course complete with a slip n slide to get the blood flowing!)

You cannot have a bad day when you pull these suckers out of the oven. Friends are rocking my world today. I got this delish recipe here. I love that gal, she has an awesome out look on life, she has great style and she loves to cook as much as I do.

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The only thing better than making magical cookies is having a place to take them to. So excited to play with friends!


These girls are also rocking my world. So cute. So funny. So quirky. But I may be a little biased.

This little girl loves to get into all kinds of mischief. Today it was seasoning my big green chair with paprika. Every time I sit on it a woosh of paprika smells wafts out. The price you pay to take a shower when you have little ones around.

Also rocking my world is their ability to get crazy and dismantle my furniture so they can jump all around.

All while watching the BEST KID MOVIES EVER. Beauty and the Beast anyone?? It could be one of my favorite things ever to hear Olivia bust out "Be our Guest". I still get goosebumps during the scene where Belle has just declined Gaston's offer of marriage and runs out into the meadow singing "I just want more than this provincial life". I am pretty sure I was Belle in a past life or something.

Who needs a jungle gym when you can do stuff like this in your own house. As I type this I can hear Olivia sing "tale as old as time.... song as old as rhyme...". So perfect!!

Auntie Shelly is coming to town tomorrow and I am about bursting at the seams with excitement!!!

Big Girl

Although I try to not let Olivia have my camera too often, it is kinda fun to see what pictures she takes when she does have it. My floors are concrete and if she drops it she could pretty much wreck it. These pictures crack me up because this is what I spend a lot of time doing.
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Kneeling by the tub, on a towel (did I mention my floors are concrete) and hang out on the phone.

I am kneeling by the tub because little sister is having a bath. She averages about two a day. She wants to be just like big sister, in ALL ways, including meal times. It doesn't matter that her hand eye coordination isn't great yet.... if big sister is eating yogurt out of a bowl with a spoon, I had better not even attempt to spoon feed yogurt to little sister. She HAS to have a bowl and a spoon and do it herself. Even if that means more yogurt ends up on her than in her. This goes for about every food and I have just found it easier to A) feed her in just her diaper and B) hose her off in the tub or give her a shower after.
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Big sister is a potty training PRO now. I was really prepared for the worst, thinking that she would have a really hard time with it and then she just blew me out of the water!
People have asked how we are doing it, so here it is.
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-We talked about wearing her big girl panties for a few days leading up to actually wearing them
-Day one~ made her get on the potty first thing (no matter how cranky she was when she woke up)
-Had her go potty every half an hour the first day
-We have pull ups for night time but I ended up not putting her in pull ups til day three: This is the reason...
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Pull Up Stand-off: She had never done the job on the potty before, tinkles yes... the job, no. I didn't put them on at nap time because I didn't want her to think if she just held it all morning, or all day that she could just do the job in the pull ups. I didn't want it to set a precedent. So no pull ups until she had done the job at least TWO times. It took until day two and then SHEBAM! Job done on the potty! Cheering and hootin' and hollerin' ensued!!
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-We don't call pull ups "pull ups". We call 'em "princess panties" (they have a princess print). Kinda trick her into thinking they are still panties and mentally encourage her to stay dry all night.
-No treats, only positive reinforcement. Gave family members the heads up and for about three days we alternated calling them after every potty victory. Olivia bragged about her awesome bladder abilities and praise was showered down on her. Worked one THOUSAND times better then any gummy bear would have.
-After a week I pulled out a special surprise... DORA PANTIES. Reward for being such a big girl. Told her we need to keep Dora happy and not tinkle on her. The rare time she had a accident I just told her Dora was so sad she got tinkled on. Olivia felt so bad and sad sorry to Dora and that she would try hard to keep Dora happy and dry. Works like a charm.
-After week two I unveiled brand new "edephant" jammies. Special jammies for a special big girl.
-She has been dry at night for almost two weeks. Minor accidents here or there, but just because I forget how long she has gone between bathroom trips or she is too excited about playing to realize.
-After day one I usually don't have to remind her, she either takes herself or asks me to take her (unless we are out and about.... distractions like that can make her forget).
-For job in the panties situations we A) made a big show of throwing her Dora panties in the trash (I WAS NOT cleaning up that....) followed by a time out. We did the time out on a blip day where it had happened twice. I wanted to nip that in the butt (he he he). Hasn't happened since!
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We had tried it a few times before and it didn't work. She just wasn't ready, so instead of pushing her I just held off and would try a month or two later. I guess most girls are potty trained by/about this time. She probably was ready for it in the summer, but we were just too busy and I wanted to make sure I had the time to do it right. Her little BFF was potty trained before her and Olivia would be her potty assistant. Getting the stool for her, handing her the TP, helping flush the toilet. That worked out awesome because when Olivia was ready I didn't need to explain anything to her, she had seen her BFF in action enough times that she just took off with it.
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If any of you have other questions you wanted to ask me, just feel free to email or call... it is quite fresh in my memory!

Mum's the word.

I am learning a lot about this new way of life for us, now that we are a military family. One aspect of that is OPSEC (Operations Security). So there may be some things that I will be vague on when talking about Marcus on this blog. It will be on purpose. Just know that you can always email me or message me on facebook if you have more specific questions... I just won't answer them on a public forum like this!

I found this really good post made by another Army wife and added a link button if you were curious about OPSEC and wanted to learn more!

Note to self...

I just pulled this bad boy out of the oven. Then I read the last line of the recipe where it says you need to wait several hours or overnight for the thing to set.
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SEVERAL HOURS?!?!
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Clearly the Pioneer Woman has never met me or my insane need for instant gratification, especially with any and all things food related.
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So my house smells magically of light roasted pecans and caramelized sugar and I find myself having to restrain myself until after dinner to partake in the fruits of my labors.
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Vashti, note to self: Whilst baking, stick to items that may be eaten the moment you pull them out of the oven, unless you will be gone for the afternoon in which case you may make a pecan pie again.
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Um, is it several hours yet?
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How about now?
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Maybe it is set up NOW?!?

In the kitchen with Vashti....

Because it is a slow Thursday around here and because my girl is a potty pro, I am going to make a pie.
THIS pie.
It is one of those rare occaisions where I actually have all the ingredients on hand. Also pretty much any recipe that I make of hers makes my heart go all a-flutter.
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Plus gotta say that I love being able to talk to my hubby every night. They have been doing combatives and a lot of PT while waiting for their classes to start. We have his language assignment, which I am SO excited about, but I will wait to put it on here until he is actually in the classes. Don't want to jinx it. You are allowed to switch languages with people up until the classes start as long as both agree on it. Marcus has had a different person ask each day to trade with him. He keeps respectfully declining. He also has to find his own housing off base within the next few days, which has made us rethink the time the girls and I were going to move down. It is getting so close! Soon we will be altogether again!

Potty Talk

Potty training is going WAY better than I expected (keep expectations low and you will often find yourself pleasantly surprised). In an effort to get Olivia to understand that she is in control of her body we now find ourselves having some interesting potty talk around here.

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One time while racing to the bathroom in a really close call I told her to tell her tinkles to wait until she was at a potty because she is the one in charge. Frequently, in a very commanding tone, I now often hear the following:

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"WAIT tinkles! You wait for the potty tinkles! YOU listen to ME tinkles!"

"No poopies... You wait for the potty poopies!"

"Almost made it tinkles! Almost there tinkles!"

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It is working, she never has an accident when she is talking to her bowels in this manner. It has also made for a pretty hilarious morning waiting for how she will next direct her bowel movements to wait for the potty.

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Having toddlers can be exhausting (have I mentioned I am already wiped out from this potty training shenanigans and it is ONLY day 2?)... but it can also be pretty awesome and/0r hilarious!

It's go time.

Today is day one of operation potty training. I had been thinking for a while that it was time to do it but we have been so gosh darn busy that I wanted to wait until we had a stretch of time at home to do it properly. If we were going to do it, we were going to do it all the way. I am still going to do pull ups at night time, but it's going to be panties all day.
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I have some good tips that I think will help a lot and I plan to spend a big portion of my day in the bathroom. We don't have anything on the schedule for the whole week so I can give all this potty business my full attention.
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Wish us luck!

A week of flags, dog tags and bugle calls.

The first day of the graduation festivities was the family day debriefing. It was supposed to be at Hilton Field but all the monsoon rains made it switch to the Solomon Center.

Going on little sleep we all file into the building.

I may be a little excited about being reunited with my Marcus ;)

We got there very early so we could make sure we had good seats. Normally, if the event is at Hilton Field, all the soldiers march out in front of us while we are being debriefed. Then they tell us that the soldiers have to remain in formation until their family members find them resulting in a mad dash from bleachers to field.

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Because of the wet conditions all the soldiers were waiting for us at their barracks. F Co building was a little over 4 blocks away. We first go to the car to drive over. There was only one exit from the parking lot and it quickly became a stand still. I waited for about 30 seconds and then declared to everyone in the car that I was just going to walk/run instead. Michelle trekked it with me. I got pretty bad blisters but it was so worth it. Marcus called and I told him I was heading his way (they got their cell phones back FINALLY). He waited for a little bit and then decided to meet me along the way. I had just turned onto Magruder Avenue and I saw him across the street, traffic was busy so I had to back track to the light and then cross to the other side. I could not put into words all the emotions I was feeling at seeing him again.

The PX was across the street and when the rest of the family finally got out of traffic, we met them there. For family day he only had an on post pass, so whatever we were doing we had to stay at Ft. Jackson. Marcus had been pretty sheltered during basic so there was a lot of the base he hadn't even seen yet. Marcus's grandparents (Richard and Virginia) and his Dad and sister (Ed and Michelle) all came to see him graduate.

There was this really pretty lake that was there, it had picnic tables and a dock that went out over the water. He spent a good deal of that first afternoon just talking, calling home and enjoying the wonderful weather. Overcast but still warm because of all the humidity, so relaxing.

It's official.

We are now an Army family.

Marcus told us the reason why the stars are on the other side then you normally see them. When you are going into battles, presumably flying the flag before you, the flag would be flying behind you in the wind. So they have the flag that way, like they are flying into battle, always ready to go.

It was so wonderful to be with him again. It was kinda weird that first day because there is a strict PDA rule while in uniform. Some people could get away with hand holding here or there, but Marcus and I felt most comfortable just following the rules. We both didn't want to do anything to get him into trouble. You can hug and kiss at homecomings or farewells, but that is it. We mostly just stared at each other all day, trying to take it all in.

Graduation Day! They held it at Hilton Field. The bleachers were enormous and we had it at max capacity. 600 soldiers were graduating from D, E, and F companies.

They were bused in the far side of the field and then marched in at the start of the ceremony

Richard and Virginia had front row seats. The pictures I took weren't really that good, and quite honestly I didn't take a whole lot during the ceremony because I wanted to take it all in. It was majestic. The army band was out of this world and they all moved in perfect unison. One of my favorite parts was when they called out the Soldiers Creed. All 600 saying the creed at the exact same time, you could have heard a pin drop after that.

After graduation we all headed back to the F Co building to sign out our soldiers for their off post pass.

This was Marcus's home for the past 10 weeks.

The street sign for their building.

When you turned down Magruder drive they had the whole street lined with all the state flags. It looked so cool.

These were some of the guys that Marcus hung out with the most. Pierce, Newberry and Ortiz. Newberry and Ortiz were battle buddies who had their bunk right across from Marcus. All the guys gave them the celebrity name of BerryTiz. I asked them to get together for a group shot while we were all waiting to sign them out. They are all so funny. Newberry is standing right next to Marcus and he is pretty short, as is his WHOLE family. So after I took this picture he pointed to his Mom asking the guys to look in that direction so she could take a picture. He said "Look over at my Mom, she's right there. I get my height from her." His mom is like 4' 8". We all busted up. He is short but he totally owns it.

Gotta love those Army issue glasses. They are the geekiest things I have ever seen, very Stever Urkel.

When they got off the bus from graduation, they all marched in formation to the front of the building shouting a cadence while they marched. Like what you see in the movies, where one person shouts it and then they either copy of respond, all in time with the marching. Each platoon had one that was their favorite so all four platoons marched up saying their respective cadences.

They they all stood there while waiting on the information to be signed out. After that we had a pretty fun day of sight seeing around Columbia and having time just to ourselves. It was a perfect day. All the soldiers who had night passes had to be back by 4 am for morning formation. Marcus and 24 other guys were all headed to CA for the Defense Language Institute. Their flight left later that day.

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He has been able to keep his cell phone now that he is in Monterrey, which has been awesome. We have talked every day since I dropped him off. As of right now he is registered to take the Korean class starting the first week of November. They are doing orientation and light duty between now and then. I guess the PT really gets amped up too. He already loves it there, he said the atmosphere is wonderful and his leaders seem really cool.

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On our flight to Charlotte we made friends with a family sitting in front of us. Mr and Mrs Padilla were headed to Columbia to see their son, Noel, graduating. Noel's girlfriend was traveling with them too. He is in Marcus's company, but different platoon. We kept bumping into them the whole week, sat by them during graduation and then I talked with them more when we were both dropping off our soldiers after having the night pass. They are so nice. It turns out when Marcus got into his room at the DLI (Defense Language Institute), Noel Padilla was already in there. They got assigned as roomies! It was so perfect, they are both hard workers and are trying to get through the next phase as soon as possible.

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It was such a wonderful week. I am so glad that I was able to go and see a little bit of the world that Marcus was living in. I am so excited for all the new things that we will be facing, together as a family!