First ever camping trip, when Olivia was still a baby. There ain't nothin' like seeing a Daddy do what he does best... be a good Daddy!.
These last two weeks we have had a lot of stuff on the go. Keeping really busy, which has worked out great because I am now less than two weeks away from seeing Marcus again. The next two weeks are looking to be just as busy, so pretty much before I know it I will be standing in front of him!
.
Today was the last day to send letters in the mail to him. I bought a little notebook to continue the letter writing with and then I will give him the notebook when I see him. It will give him something to read when he gets to CA.
.
Things are running smoothly. My tightly run ship is sailing perfectly. There are minor hiccups here and there but I have totally got used to running things solo. I wonder what it will be like when we are all together again?
.
I have been experiencing lack of emotion lately. Just when I wonder if something is wrong with me because I am in no way emotional about him being gone, something will happen. Something little or something big and all the emotions that got buried deep as a coping mechanism get released into this giant tsunami. Emotional throw-up so to speak. I feel better afterwards, more human that I still can have those feelings. Just when I think I have become emotionally stunted another tsunami will hit.
.
Don't think I am getting on my high horse here saying "look at me, see how amazing I am that I can parent and do all these things MYSELF!". The ONLY reason why this ship is sailing so smoothly is because I have a little village of people helping. They are doing any or all of the following:
.
Keeping me sane
Mowing my lawn
Watching my babies
Sending me well wishes
Hugging me when I cry
Sacrificing time and energy
Telling me I'm not crazy
Telling me I AM crazy
Listening to my worries, even if it is the third time that week they have had to do so
Tutoring me in all the "military" ways
.
My babies have benefited from an outpouring of love. I know that their needs are being met and that gives me tremendous peace of mind. Also knowing that our separation is only temporary helps a lot too.
.
I miss my husband.
.
But every time I miss him I am also reminded that we are doing what we should be doing, for our family and for each other. Quiet little whisperings of reassurance.
3 comments:
that was so beautiful, you are so strong lady. ya know though you need to use me, I keep saying it again and again. when do you get to go see him:) I bet that will be a great day! hope baby number three doesn't come in nine months hahahahaha
Vashti you are inspiring. Just today when Jeff got home and I was beyond my limit for the day I thought, "wow, how does Vashti do it??"
You are a fabulous girl :)
I love the notebook idea too :)
Post a Comment